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Q: Why?
A: There are a lot of reasons why. If you ask the kids, they might say ...
Yana: Because. (In other words, "dumb question.")Maria: To swim with the dolphins. (She says that is what I told her.)Elena: Well, it all started in 1998 ... (Elena loves to tell a story.)Bronson: Chicken Butt (That is his answer to everything these days.)
In college, I studied in London for a semester and traveled before, after, and in-between. It was the greatest experience of my life. I thought everyone should have the opportunity to study abroad. Matthew agreed.
Then I started getting sentimental (or selfish - depending on your perspective). I didn't want to send the kids away; I wanted all of us to go together ... as a FAMILY. I shared my thoughts with Matthew. He said, "No."
Matthew is a much more reasonable person than I am. When I say "No," it is "No - end of subject" unless you want a fight. When Matthew says "No" (or "Yes"), it means "Maybe." I knew I could work on him, so I just started talking about it like it was a reality. It wasn't quite as easy as I thought; it took two years to convince him.
We realized that we knew A LOT of people who had moved to another country -- our friends, our neighbors, our colleagues, MY MOM (with 4 kids and 1 on the way). It isn't impossible.
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Q: When?
A: We knew that "Spain" would never happen unless we put it on the calendar. In 2002, we decided to go in 2007. At the time, it was the distant future.
While our life creeped along, 2007 creeped closer. We continued to talk about Spain, but it still seemed a lifetime away. Suddenly, it was 2 years away. Now, a few weeks. Aaaaaagh.
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Q: Why Spain?
A: In my college travels, Spain was my favorite. Matthew and I thought Spanish would be a good language and culture for the children to learn. Also my sister-in-law, Margarita, is from Spain. Back in 2002, she and John considered going with us. They have two sons and wanted them to know Spain first-hand.
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Q: How much will it cost?
A: Lots. When we put Spain on the calendar, the only thing we were certain of was that we would need money ... lots of money. We applied for non-lucrative residence visas. We had to prove to the Spanish Consulate that we could live in Spain without earning money in Spain.
We started saving money aggressively. We didn't go out to eat. We didn't go to the movies or museums or events. We didn't travel. We didn't go shopping -- which meant hand-me-downs, rummage sales, and thrift stores. Yana will tell you that I had NEVER bought her a NEW pair of pants in her entire life. That's an exaggeration, though not by much.
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Q: With whom?
A: As mentioned, we originally planned to move with Margarita, John, Gabriel, and Nico. But, Margarita and John had since separated and Margarita had signed a 5-year teaching contract. But our wheels were already turning. Spain was written in stone ... as in, my stubborn stone head. We were moving.
On the other side of the US, Eugene and Amy were also planning to live abroad. At first, they were going to move to Germany. They had friends in Germany and Eugene speaks German fluently. But, Amy speaks Spanish fluently and Eugene was nearly fluent in Spanish as well. Also, they had adopted children from Haiti with beautiful, deep, dark, rich brown skin ... and learned that there are more trans-racial families in Spain than in Germany. It would be a little easier to blend in Spain than in Germany. Plus - a BIG plus - we were moving to Spain. Done. They decided to come with us.
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Q: Why Valencia?
A: Originally, we were going to move to Córdoba, Margarita's hometown. But, we're flexible; we'll be happy anywhere. Amy and Eugene want a larger city and they want to be by the sea. In 2005, Amy and Eugene traveled to the three largest cities in Spain to do some "hands-on research." They spent time in Barcelona, Valencia, and Madrid; they liked Valencia the best. Based on their stories and videos, we liked it too.
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Q: How did the kids react to the news that the family was moving to Spain?
A: For the kids, it isn't "news." We have talked about it for so many years (a loooooong time in their young life), that it isn't a surprise to them ... it is just a part of life as they have always known it (or remember it).
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Q: What about Oma (my mom)?
A: Oma was our biggest worry. She has lived with us or next to us since 1998 and she did not want to move.
To make a short story shorter ... less than a month ago, Mom decided to move to Neenah, Wisconsin ... Margaret talked her neighbor into selling his house ... we found a lawyer and made an offer ... we packed up Mom's house ... the closing date is next week ... and Mom is moving next weekend. Everything happened so fast, it's a blurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
We're happy that Oma will be near family.
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Q: What about Buddy (our dog)?
A: We began planning on the assumption that Buddy would come with us. We did all the research on the requirements for bringing a 40lb dog to Spain. We had him chipped and got all the required tests and vaccines and documents. We knew there was a possibility that we would live in a small apartment and that maybe he wouldn't be happy.
We have now chosen our home in Valencia and the landlords do not want dogs. I don't blame them. They are quite brave just to have eleven people living in their home.
So, Buddy will go with Oma. My sisters and Matthew's parents will help Oma with Buddy. Oma will spoil him and he might be 100lbs when we get back ... but he will have been loved and cared for.
[I'm reading this 2 years later - crying. Buddy died in November 2007; Oma died in December 2007.]
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Q: It seems like it would be impossible to just pick up and go!
How are you going to do it?
A: Whaaaaaaa! I don't know.
Okay. Compose myself. We aren't going to "just pick up and go." There have been many years of planning and preparation: 7 years of prayers; 5 years of saving money; 2 years of researching, collecting information, preparing documentation; almost a year of wrapping up and packing up and picking up ... and going. Numerous people - family, friends, and strangers - have offered their advice, their support, and their help. Some people offered admonition.
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Q: What about your jobs?
A: I was working with some of the most creative, intelligent, and productive people. Those who weren't THE most creative and intelligent - were a lot of fun to be around. When the time came to leave, a few other members of our team were also leaving and the end of our "dream team" was inevitable. As much as I loved working, work was one of the problems I had to address. When my four-year-old knew my office telephone number better than our home telephone number - I knew I was working too much.
Matthew also loves his job. He has spent ten years building customer relationships that he cherishes. He enjoys working for and with the people at North American Paper. Leaving will not be easy.
But, this is how we are looking at it. Everyone experiences changes throughout their lives ... especially mid-life. Most of the changes are not planned. Some are a complete surprise. Others are reactions to circumstances. So, we decided that this would be one of those changes and rather than just let it happen to us, we would make it happen. It sounds great - doesn't it? I love Norman Vincent Peale (the author of Power of Positive Thinking).
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Q: What about the kids' schools?
A: We chose 2007 because it was a good time for all the kids. Yana will graduate 8th grade at Pope John XXIII (PJ23) and would be making a transition to high-school anyway. Maria would come back from Spain and have 2 more solid years at PJ23. Elena and Bronson both would have a chance to get to know PJ23 and develop friendships that will be important in their transition back home.
Some felllow PJ23 parents might *think* that we planned it this way to get out of as many science projects as possible - required of students 3rd through 6th grade. Hee hee. No, really, we didn't plan it that way. It was just coincidental. Really.
We don't know what to expect with regard to schools in Valencia. Certainly, the kids will go to a Spanish speaking school. We are not sure if they will go to Catholic schools or not. We'll have to see what is available when we get there.
In the short term, we know their English language skills will suffer the most. Yana will probably have to take extra English classes when she returns. In the long term, however, learning another language often strengthens one's native language skills.
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Q: Why 2 years?
A: Time goes by soooo fast; one year just isn't enough. We figured we would have one year to learn the language and culture and one year to live the language and culture. [Matthew and I are slow learners ... we could use 10 years to learn.]
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Q: What will you do with your house?
A: We are trying to rent it out ... furnished. Cross your fingers. Matthew wanted to sell it. No way - I love our house too much.
[2 years later ... In hindsight, we left an inflated market and we are returning to a deflated market. We would have made A LOT of money selling our house and buying a different one when we return. But we didn't know that at the time and I would have felt like I was selling my soul. Our house is a wonderful house and an important part of our lives in the United States. It isn't perfect and neither are we so, it fits us perfectly. We love our house, our yard, our neighbors, and our neighborhood. We are really looking forward to returning home sweet home.]
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